You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
