Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
false alarm, still single
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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