Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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