As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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