He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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