So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
