Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
