oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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