Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
