Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
