why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
