when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
