this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my shit smells like andre
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
