She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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