that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
