Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
