do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
