I think I died a long time ago.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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