I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
