i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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