can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
