I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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