I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
