TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
