So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
