Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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