I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
