By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
