im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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