Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
