Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
