There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think I am morally bankrupt
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
