after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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