I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
