does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
