SEEEEXXX PLEASE
please come you make the beer taste better
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
