oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
