We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We need to rekindle our bromance
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
