I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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