And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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