it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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