After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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