My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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