hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize