Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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