How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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