I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
