I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
