I'm laying in your front yard are you home
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
