what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
