Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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