So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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