you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
