sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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