I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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