My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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