He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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