I think I died a long time ago.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
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