Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
