Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
