he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
it was like eating out sand paper
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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