It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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