how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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