he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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