it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
