dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
