smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
