It's like God shit irony all over that family
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
