Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
